[Note from Michael: This is Part 3 of Madelyn’s Diary—which she has agreed to let me publish—covering July-August, 2024.
Here is Part 1—March-April, 2024.
Here is Part 2–May-June, 2024.]
7/4/24
So, an imaginary conversation in my head….
Friend: “What did you do yesterday?”
Me: “Well, I went to visit my M.E.O.W. (male escort for older women) and we smoked some pot, fucked for hours and then I sucked him off.”
Friend: “Really?”
Me: “Yes. We also had rough sex with a flogger and slapping. It was super sexy, sensual and intensely pleasurable.”
Friend: “Really?!”
Me: “Yes. What did you do yesterday?”
7/5/24
My time with my husband as a caretaker elevates my stress level.
My time with Michael lowers my stress level.
I have written about the two parallel lives that I am living side by side. One of concern and always needing to be on. The other of absolute joy and having my needs fulfilled.
I am not going to stop.
7/6/24
Two of the three articles I wrote about us meeting have hit the airwaves of social media. I have stated from the beginning that I wanted to help other women understand how important finding your awakened sexual energy is. Your fountain of youth. Your glorious joy and well-being.
I know this is not for everyone, but for the ones who feel repressed because of life’s circumstances or whatever it may be: set the intention! This is the very best thing I have ever done for myself. All my parts, all my being, my heart, my soul, my kindness, my humor, my perky, my physical health, my mental health and my joy are BACK. I was partially asleep for 17 years.
Women are responding. I am so incredibly grateful and humbled. I feel so very invigorated because have helped. I am making a difference. We are making a difference. That is why I walk this world kindly…. to make my difference. I am full of joy. I am grateful. I am so looking forward to it all!
7/9/24
In our session yesterday I felt a lovely ease. It comes from knowing I will be having regular dates for sensual pleasure. I was desperate in the beginning from so many years of none. Now I feel the luxury of just letting it happen. I just savior each second and let it unfold. When Michael I first started having sessions, I had a “list” of things I wanted to experience again or try for the first time. And, yes, we crossed them all off. I still have “my favorites” and Michael knows what they are. I love being on this journey. I want to learn, explore, feel and push my potential as a sexy sometimes slutty sensual woman.
7/13/24
I am in my height of anticipation about seeing Michael on Monday. I find anticipation very electrifying. Anticipation is so very sexy and of part of my ready for Michael. A friend asked me today “What do you do to get ready for your time with Michael?”
I make sure I have well-manicured hands and feet. I have a clean body. I don’t eat after breakfast on the day I see him because I want to be hungry in every way. I wear clothes that are easy to take off quickly. I bring food to nourish us after. I disconnect from everything but us.
I have shared with some of my family members and dear friends about Michael and me. Every person has been incredibly happy for me. They share in my joy and encourage me to get what I need.
All of them have experienced me at my less-than-perky before Michael. Many shared (after the fact) that they were concerned about my state of mind which was so much on my shoulders. Most reported they felt this way for the last year before I met Michael.
They can see the difference in my spirit. They can feel the difference in my hugs. It makes me feel even more loved.
7/16/24
Yesterday’s session with Michael was incredible. Again, I am blown away by the incredible feelings two bodies can make. It keeps getting better, every session. I feel so lovingly ravaged in all the very best ways. I didn’t want our session to end yesterday.
At my age and after such a very long drought of sensual pleasure and intense magical sex; I would have never thought I would be….
Kissed, gently bitten and sucked all over from my head to my toes
Think starting at the forehead and ending at the toes. Now turn over. Start with the gentle pulling of the hair and go down the body.
Kissing, gently biting and sucking him all over from his head to his toes.
Having my body teased with gentle slaps, the leather strands of a flogger and his hands grazing me.
During sex I want Michaels’s body as close to me as possible and with as much contact as possible. It is intoxicating. I can orgasm just from his touch.
And, anal sex, anal licking and probing with fingers.
Positions…. so many I love. Michael is a great conductor, so I just go with the lovely flow.
It is all so blissfully euphoric…. REALLY
7/17/24
I have been thinking a lot about how the scales of “stress” and “bliss” balance in my parallel life now. One life of caretaking for my loves that consumes huge parts of me. The other life of being filled and being able to disconnect from my stresses totally.
Bliss overrides stress. The joy that comes from being lovingly filled fuels my body and soul for the tolls of caretaking. There is a sweetness in being full and knowing that I will be refilled. I totally underestimated the life force sensual passion is for me. The benefits to your soul, brain, mind and body are immeasurable. This was what I really craved and was missing in my life and now that I have it; I am in with every part of my being. She loves it!
7/19/24
I am not sure how other women experience orgasms. I did some unscientific questioning and got very mixed answers:
“I have both clitoral and vaginal.”
“I don’t orgasm.”
“I only orgasm with penetration.”
“I only have clitoral orgasms.”
I have always had clitoral orgasms and not vaginal orgasms until I met Michael. I had other lovers try to get me there. It never happened. With Michael it happened right away and there was no denying the glorious waves of contractions. We didn’t need to try; it just happened.
I have always had a very sensitive body. I feel even the slightest touches. When I was younger, I was not sure what to do with my “sensitivity.” Some lovers were uncomfortable with how sensitive my body was and my voracious appetite for sensual pleasure.
Maybe that is the answer? Michael and I are both open to exploring all my parts. I will not question the gift. If this comes with age; bring it on! I want to feel it all.
7/23/24
I am wired with bliss today after our session yesterday. WOW and WOW! Such amazing intertwining of passionate bodies engaged in pleasure. I underestimated my own body’s capacity for pleasure. I imagine it is because you need to experience it first and then your personal bar gets higher. My fantasies were not even close to our earthy reality.
I cried with joy yesterday because I truly felt that I would not ever experience this bliss. It grounds me. It feeds me. It makes me HAPPY! I am GRATEFUL!
7/27/24
Notes for upcoming MEA “Let’s Talk About Sex” panel:
What working with a M.E.O.W. (Male Escort for Older Women) has done to improve my health and wellbeing:
Weight loss (total 15 lbs.)
I feel alive in every cell of my body.
Vertigo—gone.
Occasional bladder leaks—gone.
Improved digestion.
Glowing skin.
Energy for all life things is BETTER.
Aches from aging—gone.
I laugh more.
I sing more.
I feel kinder (I am a kind person already).
My well is filled regularly so my patience is more robust. I can push away my resentment that caretaking can occasionally make you feel. (5 people in my family, including my husband, have real health challenges.)
7/30/24
I am in a state of awe. Michael and I have been having sessions for over 5 months now. The level of intimacy and sexual sensual pleasure is continuing to expand and amaze me.
Is this a gift with aging that you can “FEEL” so intensely? Possibly for me. Michael is younger and he is right there with me, so I don’t spend time on how.
When we are intimate, I am only right in there in every moment, right in that touch, right in the feeling, right there experiencing the pressure of our bodies, feeling the melding of our bodies together into one pulsing being.
It feels like we are the same wave rolling in pleasure. I feel dreamlike, but this is not a dream. It was my dream to have sexual pleasure back in my life. My intention has come to be and is WAY beyond my fantasies of what could be. The reality is spectacular. Thank you for being my conductor for this journey Michael. WOW and WOW.
Later in the morning:
We went deep into each other this last session. The anal sex was otherworldly. Afterwards I said the words, “I need to come back to earth.” I keep going over the experience in my head and I can’t stop smiling. It is all so significant and so pleasurable. I feel so alive and full.
We cuddled under the covers with our underwear on and it quickly turned into a very sexy sensual orgasmic wonderland. I love to be touched by Michael. It can be grounding, and it can take me to euphoric places. I have never experienced sexual playing this way. So great REALLY. My happy.
Before I left, we danced. So sexy. So sensual. So pleasurable. I have probably said “REALLY!?” a hundred times today. Such a lovely reality. Thank you for going there with me.
7/31/24
I have been thinking a lot about sexual honesty.
When I was in my 20’s I was resistant to explore my fantasies and sexual desires.
When I was in my 30’s I made requests around the edges of my sexual desires and did not feel heard or taken seriously. One man said, “you want that?” It never happened.
In my 40’s I experimented with my husband. We played well and it opened me up to some.
Then many medical events happened to derail our deep sex (penetration) for 17 years. Until I met Michael.
I am now in my late 60’s and, after seeing Michael for 5+ months, feel completely comfortable asking for what I want. And being open to what I didn’t know I wanted. What a gift. Maybe it should be called sexual courage.
8/8/24
I believe when you find a great sexual sensual partner, wether it is your spouse, lover or a M.E.O.W. (Male Escort for Older Women), after you get to know each other there is a oneness that happens with intense sex. The unity of two bodies integrating for pleasure is spectacular and deep.
The sweetness of finding the person’s lovely pleasure spots is exhilarating. Allow yourself to create a space for exploration with your partner and then to just be in the moment. Let it unfold.
I am truly amazed what intense pleasure two people can manifest when they are open. I am and Michael is too.
8/12/24
I have been aching to write. Michael and I had the gift of more time together. We took three nights away, traveling. I was so excited about the possibilities of this trip that the anticipation was consuming in all the best ways. The best part is that the reality was even better! REALLY.
Michael is usually the conductor of our sexual sessions. I will ask if I want something, but I am happy to be conducted. There is also the conduction of energy, warmth, passion, words, noise, tongues, hands, pussy, cock, asses and bodies intertwining for maximum touching and pleasure.
We saw a life-changing music show. It hit me that talented musicians have a touch, a feel that is their signature sound. Of course it takes talent. I believe the difference between good and awesome is that touch and feel.
Michael has this ability. Michael pays attention to what pleasures you and does it (me too). Michael also loves women and will enjoy their beauty and find their pleasure places.
Spending time without having sex was nice. Sleeping with someone you care about is lovely. Having meals together is sweet. The conversations. There was a lot of “we” and it felt good.
Next week I will have been seeing Michael for six months. My life has been improved in all the best ways. I feel younger, I have more energy (lots!), I am leaner, I am HAPPY, and I can take better care of my husband who I am the primary caretaker for at this point.
The regular filling of my body and soul is the key to my life juices. I underestimated the power of positive sexual energy. It is necessary for me. My advice…. GET SOME.
8/16/24
Michael and I had another amazing session yesterday. I believe we have taken cuddling to a new level of incredible. Michael may have been crafting this art, but it is new to me and very intoxicating. Clothes on or off, the body heat, touching and feeling send me to a very sensual place. It is both grounding and stimulating. The stimulation can easily bloom into full-blown erotic sex. The grounding is welcome when the session is ending, and I need to be back in my body. I treasure them both.
In sensual sex I don’t think there is a substitute for learning what you and your partner love to feel. The pressure of your touch. The places you love being touched (yes…everywhere!) The places he loves being touched. What you are open to and what are your off-limit boundaries (not much!) Talk about it. Some men in my past have not taken my sexual voraciousness seriously. Michael does. I feel seen. I feel that I can be my whole self. I want to explore her (Maddelyn) in every way possible. I am so in!
8/23/24
Our session was last Wednesday.
The best verbal line of the day was Michael saying “I don’t think I want a meal. [I usually feed him lunch.] I want to fuck you again instead.” It makes me smile just to write it. Being fucked was even better!
We have been having sessions together for six months now. I am very aware that this is the very best investment in my well-being, sexual health, and mental health that I have ever made. It is my “fountain of youth.” I feel like I am reverse aging. I feel younger and healthier and happier than ever.
Except for….
My home life with my husband has been incredibly difficult lately as he medically declines. Most people don’t practice for this kind of life-altering experience. I am making my way with my many skills every day.
The fact that I am giving myself the best distraction ever (intense lovely sex) makes a significant difference.
I also see a psychotherapist who has been on this journey with me for many years and is a real blessing. My friends and family are unwaveringly supportive, and each one is a treasure. Most of them know about Michael and are cheering my decision to take care of myself. This feels very life-affirming for me.
We have a date for Monday. I am in anticipation mode which I find very fun and sexy.
More soon….
8/27/24
I had another amazing session with Michael yesterday. The time just flew by as we were deep into the bliss of the moments.
Creating the space for sensual sexual experiences like ours is key to our exploration. We have made the time, arranged the space and had safe words to ensure that our desires are fulfilled but not pushed in a negative way.
Our safewords are…
“Red light”—stop and something is wrong
“Pink light”—pause the action, but nothing is wrong (e.g., I just need a break, I need to go pee, etc.)
“Yellow light”—I am at my edge, back off a little bit
“Green light”—Start the action again after red or pink light
I have never used the “Red light” in our sessions yet. The “Yellow light” once. The “Pink light” for breaks seems to come naturally. It is nice to have all these words there.
Talk to your partner, lover, M.E.O.W. (male escort for older women) about what your sexual desires are. Be involved in the journey. The pleasure that two bodies who are in tune can create is stunning to me. When we are having our sexual pleasure, I am not anywhere else but in that very moment. It is bliss. It is more pleasurable and connecting than I ever imagined.
Michael once said to me “I wish you could see the beauty I see.” I am more open to it than I used to be. The renewing of my body and soul with sexual energy has made this possible. Michael has made this possible. What a gift to the human spirit.
8/28/24
I would like to expand my thoughts on choices in sexual pleasure sessions. Being clear on what you like/love and what you don’t comes with experiences. I love deep-throat cock sucking, and many women don’t. I love many positions when Michael’s cock is in me.
Some positions or paces are uncomfortable for some women. Let your partner know. I like to be fucked hard, but occasionally it is too much, and I voice this. Michael slows down immediately in response to my requests.
I love to do what I call “sexual cuddling”: two bodies close together touching. It is very sexy, and the warmth of our bodies is a real turn-on. How do you orgasm? In my informal survey most women orgasm clitorally.
I never had a vaginal orgasm until I met Michael. I was surprised to find out many women had the same experience—only clitoral orgasms.
Do you love your nipples sucked and gently bitten? Do you like hot breath around your neck and ears with kisses? Do you like your bottom flogged lovingly to increase your sexual excitement? Let your partner know.
One of the beautiful things about aging is that I can be bluntly honest about my desires. When I was younger, I was very shy about bringing it into sexual experiences. It was not always welcomed or taken seriously. It is welcome now. YES!